I thought, that this time, this was it.

Tony Trung Tran 02 March 1986 & Annie Nhu Duong 12 May 1989

"No, Tony, don't do it, please, no, no, no no, please don't leave me, please Tony, please...."

The first time I met Tony, was at Terry's place, a Sunday for Skirmish. He looked like one of those typical asian guys, the fast cars, the long hair, the money, the pierced ears, drugs, alcohol,the sex and a smoker. Everything that I despised, loathed and hated.

I walked past and thought to myself, ew. And then I smiled at Hop.

I sat down next to Hop after a short time in the kitchen, and started to chat to him. We have the same watch!! I refused to talk to Tony, but noticed that he laughed and smiled at me.

We introduced ourselves to each other outside when we were all ready to go. I suggessted that we carpool. I didn't know the direction, and we got lost. He made fun of my driving.

We arrived at Skirmish, and I walked ahead with Linh. I got shot a few times, and Hop and Tony gave me extra ammos. I remembered when I saw Terry coming up behind the barricade of Hop and Tony, I was so worried that Tony would get shot. I couldn't look.

We finished for the day, and Linh was going with Davis, so Hop and Tony came with me. On our ride back, Tony was in the death seat. We chatted, and I find myself opening up to him. He spole so gently and warmly. I remember him looking me in the eye, and smiling. Guys don't look me in the eye.

We had to fill up as my car was running out of petrol. He offered to fill up for me. My independence..hehe! We were at Terry's and we said our goodbyes and swapped numbers. He's a Tran, Tony Tran!!!

We did the usual text and msn thing. It didn't seem as though there was much of anything besides friendliness.

Then we one day, we realised that we were both going to be in Melbourne in a few weeks. He was going a week ahead of me, and I was flying down the day before he leaves for Brisbane. Perfect timing, it always is with Annie.

He told me that we should meet up in Melbourne, seriously, we live 10 minutes away from each other. You want to meet up in Melbourne?! Melbourne? Melbourne!!

We did meet up in Melbourne, in between that we had chats on the phone. I started to fall in love with the Hue accent, or it could be an intonation.

On the wednesday, I met up with Hop and Tony at Galactic Circle. It was freezing cold, and he was late. I didn't know where he was, and I'm pretty sure I don't remember what he looks like. But I found Hop, and then I saw him. I was chatting to Hop and I knew that Tony was looking at me. I continued to talk to Hop and then politely turned towards him in acknowledgement.

We both hugged and Acqua Di Gio, yes, my favourite. Had a short conversation as to who was wearing it, and Hop told me that it was Tony last time, and also this time.

We decided to go Eureka Skydeck. after walking around for a tad bit. We teased each other, joked around, and made each other walk the wrong way. At Eureka, he missed the entrance, and I missed I told him I would be leading now, and I missed the Entrance to the Elevator.

Melbourne City is so amazing at night. we walked around, took photos, and headed outside. Hop and I thought Tony was there so we headed out. It was freezing cold. But to me, breeezy!! yes there is an extra e for the extra breeze.

We stood out there for awhile, and then Tony came out.

"Isn't this a great place to propose to someone?"
"And then you can push him off!"
" What is with you and pushing people off high places"
"hehehe"

We talked for a bit, I found out a bit more about him. He worked in IT, he's in University and he has 5 sisters.

He told some pretty corny lines, asking me if I wanted a hug.

I said no and smiled.

We sat down inside, and had a chat. I liked being close to him.

I'm hungry.

We left Eureka and took a cab to Chinatown. How many loops did we do before we ended up at Tepanyaki. Hop was super hungry, and we couldn't decide.

As we were walking though, someone slid their hand across Tony's waist and he looked at me. I was way over here. I was terrified for him, where is Hop? So he just started chatting to the guy casually. The guy started chatting to me as well. And when we crossed the road. Tony told me that he thought it was me and slid his hand across my waist.

We ordered some food and waited. The tea tasted like seaweed. So I told a chicken joke. HEHEHE, yes, that chicken joke!

Our food came, and of course, the hungriest person's came out first. Who am i kidding, its never like that! Mine came out last, it was the best chicken I ever had. We talked, ate as well as share with each other.

We finished and Tony paid. Generous. Tick.

We decided to play pool. Where is this pool place? It felt like we went to the edge of Melbourne, and could not find it. So we decided to go back. And woowoowoowoo thre it was! They are so awesome in pool! I'm not playing against that, even if I do cheat.

Tony, pretended to get his hand stuck in one of the holes. He bought me some water and he won!! Reminds me of the time Phoebe was watching Mike play table tennis.

We were heading back to the apartment where they were staying. I got to meet Chris, Ayumi and Lam. Hop stayed up eating sherbet.

Tony and I talked when everyone went to sleep.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah?"

"I really like you,"

"What? What?"

" I guess this was unexpected,"

"Hang on, what?!"

" I really like you,"

I wasn't expecting this, but, it happened. A million things spun around in my head. I asked him why? he told me that I made him happy, that he liked me when he talked to me on the phone.

"This is the part where I'm gonna kiss you,"

Cliche!!!

He kissed me gently.

I told him how much I hate guys with long hair, fast cars, status and money, and he followed it with,

"Too bad for all those guys, you're all mine now,"

I've found him.

Next thing I know, I'm back home. And I miss him like crazy.

He sent me a few texts, didn't know what time he was boarding so it was insane Annie the whole night.

Where is he? Has he landed? Did he make it home safely? What if he fell asleep on the plane? Why hasn't he called? Did I get a text? What if sometihng happened to him?

Then I finally got a text saying that he was home. Cool.

We had our first fight over the phone. He always had to go, and I always wanted to hear his voice.

I'm so mellow now.

I flew back on Wednesday night. I sent him a text saying back, he sent back this :). A whole new level of lazy. He argued that at least his text had more emotions.

I scheduled to see him on Thursday, but he had a family dinner. I saw him afterwards.

I didn't know where he waas in Market Square, so I went to 711. I was walking and talking, and I completely missed him.

He asked if I was wearing purple.

I turned around and there he was!!! Should have seen the smile on my face!! I was like, its him!! I ran to him and hugged him.

"Did you miss me?"

"Like crazy,"

We went to Mt gravatt Lookout. I love spending time with him.

I drove him home, and he told me to drive by my place so he knows where it is. I had to pee so badly.

I didn't.

The next day, I was suppose to see him at 1, but he woke up late. 4 and a half hours I waited. I cried and told myself that I would never let him hurt me again.

But when he came, all that anger melted away.

We went out that night, but I knew something was wrong, he didn't warm up to me after I told him that I thought about ending it.

Sunday is Tony and Annie's day, no text, no call to say that he can't make it.

I went out with Annie and Amy. We saw him at pool, and I ignored him.

He left after about an hour.

I missed a lot!!

On Monday, he texted me and ask if I was free. I had my prepared notes of all the things I wanted to say. I wanted to take him to Southbank. But he met me at Sunnybank Hills instead.

Late again.

I had to make a call, so he went inside Mcdonalds.

We sat in his car, and he asked me if I knew why we were here. No I didn't.

I told him almost everything that I wanted to say. I came with the agenda that we both have to put in effort for this relationship to work. I had expectations, expectations that he was about to shatter.

He told me the most cliche lines in the history of break-ups.

I don't deserve you

There are guys out there who deserve you more

I don't think I can make you happy.

My friends says that we're not right for each other.

I feel like I always disappoint you.

I don't meet your expectations.

I'm always late.

I break promises.

Can we start fresh?

We're better off as friends.

I knew then, that he wanted to break up with me. So I fought for it. I didn't want to quit when things get hard. I didn't want to quit as soon as there's a problem, as soon as there was an obstacle. But he did.

I told him that I wanted to be more than just his girlfriend, I wanted to be his best friend. I want to be there when things are good and bad. I'm not with him just for the happy times, his car, his money and his status.

He thought differently.

He told me that he didn't take me for a ride, and that he wasn't playing with me.

I believed it.

He broke up with me.

I begged, pleaded and cried. he kept pushing me away, he was in a hurry and he wanted to leave quickly.

I never beg anyone, I never plea, and I definitely never cry in front of a guy. But I was so sure, that Tony and I are meant to make things work. Tony and I were going to get through this rough patch together. The one thing that I am so sure of. The one thing that I put up a fight for. The one thing that, the one thing that I am certain of.

He left.

I cried and cried in the car. How can he tell me he fell in love with who I was and then dump me?!

I called Howie. He soothed me down, told me I was overreacting.

I went to Annie's and cried some more.

I'm killing Joe off.

We both cried.

I went and bought a lot of alcohol, but didn't drink anything.

That night, was the worse night of my life. 13 July 2009.

At least it wasn't August?!

I couldn't go to work the next day. So I came in late. The day after I went to the dentist. Woke up late again.

Thursday wasn't much better, but I wasn't 3 hours late for work.

Friday felt like it would never come.

I can't believe I went through a whole week of break up.

Doesn't seem like that long.

I talked to Van, and she told me to take him on his offer of starting fresh, and being friends.

We talked on the phone like friends, and I realised that we were in fact better off as friends then we were as a couple. He told me that he wouuld stiill go to the ballet with me, and the brisbane wheel, and up to the mountains and he would still come and see me compete. He was trying to soften the crushing blow. He wanted to take me to a proper dinner and at least have one drink with him. So I suggested strip shots. :p

I was hurt throughout that week. Didn't feel like anything was worth living for. But then Van took me out to play games at funhouse and we got toys! and 75 tickets in one go! yeah Van!!

I got given He's just not that into you, the movie and I realised that if Tony and I were going to be together, then I would have the life of Janine and Ben.

He would lie to me, telling me that he doesn't smoke anymore, he would cheat on me, he would start to question. And what if I find out after we get married and had 4 kids together? I don't want the life that my mother is living now.

With a Vietnamese husband, who treats you like a slave, has money, status, a racer, drugs, alochol, cigarettes. That's not the life I want.

So, I rather be alone, alone and not lonely. Then be with someone who will sooner or later be a huge disappointment.

I told Mo about Tony and I. She spent the day with me, and it made me feel better. I spoke to Kelvin Teoh, and felt like the most powerful woman in the world.

2 extra places for our students. yeah!

This breakup was so clean and straight forward. Kind of. What made it easiest for me though, is that Hop had a say in this. He knew Tony wasn't good for me. And me kicking and screaming, still manage to get me out of there. I look up to Hop as a brother, and I know that he knows what is best for me.

Its like when I look at my friends relationships, and don't understand why they can't see that they're boyfriends treat them so badly. They get hit, yelled and scream at, and they're still in that horrible relationship.

Tony might not have hit me, but it may as well be seen that he has. I was stuck in the same situation, and did not see it. Only from the outside can you see more clearly.

So, I thought to myself. Hey, if Tony ever wants me back in his life. He needs to rid the 13 faults that I've listed, for 5 years.

And then, maybe then, I'll think about it.

Tommy just got a hot new type r!!!

I'm gonna be a derby doll and a novice figure competitor :)

Morrigan - Goddess of War & Death. Derby name?

Anyways - off to cleaning now. My favourite past time.