I remember

I remember the first time I met him, I thought to myself ew. :)

I remember admiring his ability to construct a sentence that led me to notice his extensive vocabulary.

I remember receiving a text from him asking "are you here yet?"

I remember feeling warm inside when I received that very text message.

I remember him telling me, Welcome to Melbourne, and my cousins and sister burst out in giggles.

I remember admiring the intonation of his voice.

I remember stumbling over my words because I was so nervous around him.

I remember thinking that he was only being friendly, and that he had no interest in me at all.

I remember ticking off decent dress sense on my list.

I remember being addicted to his scent.

I remembered when he slid his hand across my waist.

I remembered screaming out, DON"T JAY WALK! And I did so myself anyway, feeling like a complete criminal.

I remember him asking me if I wanted a hug, and I said no because I thought he was being friendly and thoughtful, and later, I found out that he was about to tell me then that he liked me.

I remember, seated on a bar stool, while I watched him play pool.

I remember him asking me, YOU DON"T KNOW RAIN?! Who is that anyway? :p

I remember when he asked me, Can I tell you something?

I remember that I replied with, What?

I remember him whispering to me, I really like you.

I remember feeling safe in his arms.

I remember 'the I'm gonna kiss you now move'

I remember I chickened out.

I remember being glad that it was him I shared my first kiss with.

I remember him fixing my hair.

I remember smiling to myself all the way home.

I remember the text, are you home yet?

I remember him telling me things I didn't know about him, because he wanted to be honest with me.

I remember loving him even more, rather than being driven away.

I remember being angry because he could never stay on the line for too long.

I remember when I arrived in Brisbane, he was the first person I called.

I remember him telling me, it doesn't matter where we go, I just want to see you. But we're not going shopping. :D

I remember when he had to bail, and later on received his call to come and pick him up.

I remember the moment I saw him, I thought to myself, that this whole thing was a dream, and he was about to wake me up by telling me it was a hype of the moment impulse.

I remember asking him if he missed me while hugging him so hard, I'm pretty sure he struggled to breathe.

I remember him whispering to me, like crazy.

I remember, all I could think about was him.

I remember going to buy tea for us to spend time together on Saturday.

I remember him being late.

I remember crying to myself, and telling myself that I would never let him do this to me again.

I remember admiring his ability to communicate with my friend while I was in the back seat.

I remember, feeling so lucky that I had someone who loved and cared about me.

I remember when he told me that it was over.

I remember when I begged and pleaded, and he still left me.

I remember trying to wipe the slate clean, and still he accused me of something I
didn't do.

I remember my heart being ripped out and slammed the moment he told me that it was over.


I remember when I cried every night continuously because I didn't know what it was that I did wrong.

I remember hating myself for being so vulnerable, gullible and faithful in our relationship.

I remember laughing and crying at the same time because I didn't know how or what I was suppose to feel.

I remember dragging myself into work late everyday with no purpose.

I remember hoping that THIS was all a dream.

I remember continuing to struggle without him in my life, going to weddings on my own, going to eat out on my own, people asking me if I'm single, answering yes when a that wasn't the case a few weeks back.

I remember feeling so ashamed and embarrassed because I was so stupid to believe that I could have had something so wonderful going for me. For the first time, I thought it was possible for someone to love me for all the right reasons.

I remember the biopsy that I had to go through, and how much , everything is going to be ok, coming from him would have made it less painful.

I remember getting my test results back.

I remember my doctor telling me you have cancer.

I remember having no reaction to the news because I didn't know how to react, and I didn't want to cry, because crying solves NOTHING.

I remember crying in my car on the way home.

I remember drying it all up as soon as I hit the front door, pretending that everything was OK.

I remember just dragging myself to my room and crying again.

And the day after that.

I remember not wanting to be a burden, or to have people fuss over me, or get upset because of the news I have given them.

I remember suffering all by myself.

I remember telling myself that I have no right to cry, and then cried anyway.

I remember trying to be tough, but cried again.

I remember getting annoyed at myself for crying, and there was nothing I can do to stop it, my hormones controlled me now, not my conscious.

I remember heading into surgery, Cindy & Mum woke up at 6 am to go with me.

I remember my that I made my surgeon laugh.

I remember someone calling my name and I was wheeled into my room, with my mum just gawking at me, and I gave her a wave with my free arm.

I remember Cindy & Mum telling me that they found great bargains in the city, and that they also got SABA jeans for me.

I remember laughing because I thought it was so cute.

I remember wishing that he was there the moment I woke up.

I remember that he worked not too far away.

I remember how nice the nurses were to me.

I remember thinking of him every time I was in pain, struggled to breathe, or had needles pierced through my skin over and over again.

I remember the day I was released, is that the right word? released? I wished it was him that picked me up with my mum.

TBC - :):)